Last Day, Seven Sisters

This year gave me more than I expected.Not everything I asked for,but enough to change the way I speak to myself.

I did many of the things I promised.And I abandoned others.Some were never fully in my hands.Some were.I know the difference now.

One of the small promises I kept postponing was simple:to go on a hike.

I always loved long walksDistance without urgency,time stretched thin enough to think clearly.And still, I delayed it.The same way we delay everything that matters.Not out of fear,but out of comfort.

So it waited until the last day of the year.Instead of starting slowly, sensibly,I chose a long route:Seven Sisters.

Six hours after I began,I am writing this with a phone on five percent,legs shaking,hands marked by plants I care not to name,mud on my clothes,no map worth trusting,no plan worth defending.

I came armed with nothing but a tripodand the belief (unreasonable, stubborn),that I would figure it out.

There were moments, many,where the path felt steeper than it had any right to be.Where my body asked questionsmy mind was too tired to answer.

I guess walking alone does that.It strips away the performance.There was no one to impress.No one to lean on.Only the next step.Only the next breath.Only me, reduced to what was real.

And maybe that’s why it had to be today.Not because the year required a finale,but because I did.A last refusal to postpone myself.

I am proud of myself.Not because of the distance.Not because of the views.But because I showed up unreadyand stayed

Because I learned again,that much of life is not waiting for permission.It is not waiting to feel prepared.It is not waiting for conditions to soften.

You can actually just do things.

Planning matters.Preparation matters.

But sometimes movement matters more.Sometimes you learn the terrainonly by bleeding a little on it.

So here’s to a new year,where I choose movement over postponement,and trust that beginningis already an act of faith.

johnthegriot.com/poems/last-day-seven-sisters